Re: Casual Chatter

[Jak]

that's fine. The script itself doesn't need to be used, only the important bits. All in all they want Ben to be in a coma and for Kenny to slowly realize his feelings as he watches over him.

Personally, I don't like this. Kenny is too old for Ben(who was still in school by the time of the game), it's like Ib and Garry all over again. I think it would be better, and wouldn't stretch too far from the characters, if Kenny developed a kind of fatherly love for Ben. But, they insist it be a pairing so... what can I do *shrug*

[Rifter]

Yeah, I get that. Authors. What can you do?

In any case, I am following the script, but exclusively as a backbone so I don't veer too far off the desired course as is my wont.

Anyhow, before I go any further, I do have a question. Where does Vernon keep his gun in relation to his body?

Also, here's an excerpt from what I've written thus far:

Silence reigned through the morgue, a ringing bell having stirred up the area's walkers, leading them elsewhere. Vernon looked up from his work as the door burst open with some force, the Cancer group simply looking on as Lee and Kenny awkwardly carried an unconscious third person between them, Ben, into the room. Ben bled severely from a number of wounds.

Vernon was the first to react, “What on earth are you two doing?!” He asked with a harsh bite in his voice. Lee separated from the two-man carry as Kenny and some others that had shaken themselves out of their stupor cleared off a table and laid Ben down on it, “We were on our way to save Clementine,” Lee paused for a moment to catch his breath from having to carry Ben, “when the balcony we were jumping from broke away with Ben on it. Somehow, he managed to avoid being skewered, but,” glancing over at Ben's prone form, “his legs are in real bad sha-”

“Well, no shit! You can see his damn bones, Lee!” Kenny half-snapped.

Lee groaned as he turned his head to look at Kenny, “Okay, fine. His legs are f**ked up. That better Kenny?” He snapped, “Anyways, I think he might have hit his head or something cause he hasn't woke up since we moved him.”

[Jak]

Vernon keeps it in his belt I think. It sounds pretty good so far ^^

I should point out that Vernon isn't a violent or particularly angry man, he would never pull a gun on someone. He may bring up having to do so with Kenny and Lee, but he wouldn't just pull out his gun.

[Rifter]

Okay, and I got that feeling just by reading what you posted and I'm trying my hardest to convey that in my typing/writing. Vernon strikes me as the type of guy whose good at heart but is stuck in a position where he's more-or-less forced to be the bearer of bad news. Is that about right?

As for Vernon pulling the gun on Ben, my current mode of thought has him "zoning out" or staring off into space to think about it, then coming back, apologizing for what he, thinks, he has to do and at that point Lee steps in and offers the alternative: the coma.

[Jak]

You're pretty much right, but I want to look into another reason for Ben to be comatose. I don't know, something about how they have it in the script doesn't sound right to me

[Jak]

He should already be in a coma due to his head injury

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coma#Causes

Coma may result from a variety of conditions, including intoxication (such as drug abuse, overdose or misuse of over the counter medications, prescribed medication, or controlled substances), metabolic abnormalities, central nervous system diseases, acute neurologic injuries such as strokes or herniations, hypoxia, hypothermia, hypoglycemia or traumatic injuries such as head trauma caused by falls or vehicle collisions.

[Rifter]

Yeah, as I was reading, the whole coma idea didn't seem entirely complete to me. I think I might be able to use a little of my prior knowledge of first-aid and the human body to help explain it.

What I have in mind, the indent that Ben has pushed him to the edge of being in a coma, being an extremely severe concussion (even the minor concussion I got in the car accident a long time ago messed with my ability to stay conscious), but the drugs Vernon administers pushes him over that edge as I know that a coma slows bodily processes down to a near halt (think of the "fake death" that Juliet put herself into in "Romeo & Juliet"), so this would end up giving Vernon and whoever else enough time to help Ben. Does that make a little more sense?

EDIT: Heheheheh, you pre-empted me.

[Jak]

Ok.

and I whated you?

[Rifter]

Pre-empted. It basically means that you figured out my next move and had a "counter-plan" all ready to go before I could do anything. Think "pre-emptive strike."

[Jak]

ah ok ^^'

[Rifter]

Getting pretty close to the end now.... Hmmmm.... I want to get this done, but my tiredness is catching up to me and meddling with my ability to write/type. Before you say something along the lines of "just go to bed," this has become a case of "tunnel vision" for me, I want to get this done as I am really interested in writing and my brain is seeing this as an assignment that is "due" extremely soon. So...yeah... My "perfectionist" nature is kicking my arse right now.

It's weird in my brain, I'm still trying to figure it out.

[Jak]

It's not 'due' any time soon, so relax and at least try and enjoy it ^^

and you don't have to do it alone, I'm here to help to

[Rifter]

Yeah, but please give me this, it's how my brain operates (remember Asperger's Syndrome and ADHD) and I'm learning to go with it instead of fighting it.

And I do know that I'm not alone, why do you think I've been asking these questions and for these clarifications from someone who knows the material better than I do? (Working in a "team" is another thing I've had to learn.) ^_^

[Jak]

okay, I'll give you this one.

Here, it has a lot of swearing but if you have time tomorrow you should watch this:

[Rifter]

I'll check it out.

AAAANNNNDDDD..... I'm done with it. Just give me about three minutes or so to upload to my Dropbox, get the link and post it under the Story Topic. This was genuinely fun.

Whether or not you want to mention that I helped you with this is completely up to you, but if you choose to mention me, mind referring to me as my username on the forum here? Thanks.

[Jak]

ok.

It sounds good, but I'd like to point out again (I edited a previous post with this info after you read it I think): 'My Boy' was Kenny's pet-name for his son, he wouldn't use it for Ben if he didn't think of him as a son

[Rifter]

I don't recall reading anything about that, but the info has been noted.

[Jak]

HI RAY!!!!!!!!!!!

[Rynn]

Hey Hazen! Whats up?

[Jak]

I need a Gallifreyan translator for Victoria's Christmas gift D:

[Jak]

Hi again ^^

[Jak]

Hey Ray, who are your two favorite Zelda characters?

[Rifter]

'Allo you two.

[Jak]

On the first day of Christmas I found in Silent Hill
A fog that is confusing me
On the second day of Christmas I found in Silent Hill
Dead wife's letter
On the third day of Christmas I found in Silent Hill
Daddy in his chair
On the fourth day of Christmas I found in Silent Hill
Chains on my door
On the fifth day of Christmas I found in Silent Hill
PSYCHO MOTHER
On the sixth day of Christmas I found in Silent Hill
Running little brother
On the seventh day of Christmas I found in Silent Hill
Deep daddy issues
On the eighth day of Christmas I found in Silent Hill
Evil Barbie Dolls
On the ninth day of Christmas I found in Silent Hill
PH looking scary
On the tenth day of Christmas I found in Silent Hill
Butter Cakes a-plenty
On the eleventh day of Christmas I found in Silent Hill
Yucky looking toilets
On the twelfth day of Christmas I found in Silent Hill
All the locks are broken

[Rifter]

That is not at all creepy.

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